Birthday Sex

Birthday sex is an important indicator of how healthy a relationship is. I’m serious. A good friend of mine, a woman, for that matter, didn’t get any birthday sex from her long-term boyfriend last year and the very next day she was all up in the online personals looking for a man to please her on the side. Lady was furious. No, this friend of mine is not a super demanding super bitch or anything, she simply realized her boyfriend had no real interest in pleasing her anymore.

Birthday sex asks you if you really, really want to make your partner happy still. Remember the beginning of your hook-up? When you felt like bringing your partner to blissful orgasm simply for getting an ‘A’ on her psychology paper? Or for making you a coffee? Well, that shit is tired, yes, because she’s blown you a million times and you’ve licked her till your face is numb, but an occasion like a birthday should recreate that desire to make her arch her back like a trapeze artist. You love her, after all, and if so, why should the idea of giving her good – or, more specifically, good for her – sex make you feel like an angry hostage? That is not a good sign.

Imagine it the other way around. It’s your birthday. Girl acts like its a chore to touch you. Wouldn’t you be like, ‘what is that about!? Why do you not WANT to touch me?!’ Yeah, you would all be like that, admit it, and like my woman friend, you’d probably at least consider signing up on an online dating site, or finally responding to the advances of that very sexy admin assistant at work.

But is it a reason to cheat? Should you cheat if you don’t get birthday sex? Well, no. You should either a) end the relationship or b) sit down, have a talk and start putting some serious time and effort into turning things around. If, by the next birthday, things haven’t changed, I’d say things between you are done. On that note: Happy birthday!