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Things You Should Keep Quiet

When you’re searching for your match, it’s easy to get a little carried way when you start sharing information about yourself. It’s natural to want to know everything about them, and to want to share everything in return, but you have to remember that this is someone you don’t know, and you should use caution when sharing too much.

I suggest you look at your first personals search as a poker match. You don’t want to let your opponents know what cards you have right off the bat. In your conversational ‘hand’ you hold personality traits, personal information, dating habits, and everything in between. When you first start playing the online dating game, there are cards you can show. Things like what you’re looking for in a relationship and what you can offer. But too much information too quickly can send people running in the opposite direction.

I’d like you to know a few things you should keep  to yourself until you know your online date well. These won’t only protect your safety, but they’ll also protect your online dating life as a whole.

Keep your location vague. It’s alright to let someone know generally where you’re from so they know if there’s a chance to pursue the relationship in the real world, but you should never give out exactly where you’re from. The harsh truth is that on the internet there are, like everywhere else in the world, people who have bad intentions. It’s alright if you tell someone that you’re from the Manhattan area, but telling them that you live on the corner of Lennox and 116th can be dangerous. It opens the door for people to get to know you better than you want.

Don’t give out your full name. There’s going to be no difference between telling them that your name is ‘Kimberly’ and telling them that your name is ‘Kimberly Stewart.’ By giving out your full name, you’re giving them fuel to search you on the internet and find out things you may not want them to know. Where you work, where you live, pictures of you, etc. Don’t give out your full name until you know exactly who you’re giving it to.

Information about your sexual past. Whether you’ve had a hectic sexual past or you’ve never had sex before, you should wait to talk about it with the person you’re talking to online. It’s hard to tell what someones intentions are, and there’s a chance they’re simply using you to get off on sex stories. Don’t dive into the ‘what’s your sex number?’ conversation too quickly.

Stay away from details about how your last relationship ended. You hated his mom and he was lazy and you didn’t like your life together and he never wanted to go out and do anything. If that’s why you broke up with him, that’s fine! They’re all legitimate reasons, but talking about these things can make it seem as if you’re still carrying the baggage from your last relationship. By not talking about your exes, you’re leaving the slate clean to start fresh.

Don’t detail the things you don’t like about your job. Everyone has something they don’t like about their workplace. At my work, someone always microwaves their fish lunch and makes the entire office smell like salmon. No work place is perfect. But by expressing these things, it sounds like you can only concentrate on the negative. If they ask about your job, instead of talking about the negatives, concentrate on the positives.

When it comes down to it, you’re free to talk about what you want and hold back what you want. Make sure you’re protecting yourself while you’re expressing yourself.