RSS Feed

How To Preserve Your Relationship So It Doesn’t Curdle Past The Expiration Date




When it comes to good relationships, many people have different analogies for describe them. To some people, good relationships are like flowers, birds or a Breaking Bad marathon.  However, for me a good relationship is like canned goods.

I know what you’re thinking: ‘How unattractive is that?’ ‘ If you’re going to pick food of all things to compare your relationship to, why not compare your relationship to creme brulee instead of a tin can of beans? ‘ and ‘ooooo….your girlfriend is going to kill you.’

I assure you she’s not going to kill me because honestly, I’ve said so much worse that has gotten me in doghouse and also because my reasoning for my analogy makes sense.

Creme brulee may be sweet, perfect, rich and special, however just like any other dairy product, it gets old fast and if you try to eat it after its expiration date, all it does is leave a very sour taste in your mouth.  Well that’s just how superficial relationships can be. Sure it looks perfect at first glance, but the second things get hard (or ordinary even), the relationship curdles faster than Tara Reid’s hygiene level.

Canned goods may not be the obvious choice. They seem boring to many, but they are made for survival. They make you feel better when you are sick and well, you’re always glad you have them when you need them.  To me, that’s the perfect analogy to a good and healthy relationship.

It’s important to preserve your relationship because concentrating on appearances won’t make it lasting. The following tips are essential in any relationship and if you’re expecting to see the same generic dating advice like “Go on a trip, post pictures on FaceBook constantly and buy lingerie” then you will disappointed.  Like I suggested before, these tips are not about adding glamor to your relationship but rather about keeping it alive for years to come.

 1. Make Your “I Love You’s” Count

Everyone says the first time they say “I love you” is the most memorable time you will ever hear or say those three little words. Now why is that?  Is it because we say it all the time because we treat every day like it’s the last? Nope.  It’s because we say it due to force of habit and to reassure ourselves that there is nothing to fear.  Just like saying a word over and over again in a row, eventually the more times you say it, the phrase loses all meaning.  So instead of saying and texting I love you every day, pick your moments.  Make your “I Love you”s a memory, not a salutation.

 2. Focus On Your Personal Goals

When you love someone, it can be easy to fall into the trap of forgetting your own personal goals. You have each other, so what else do you need, right? Well then you’re destined to fail if you think you like that. Think about the reason why you started dating that person in the first place.  You might have slept with your partner because you were physically attracted to them, but you started going out with them most likely because of their passions that have shaped who they are. So if you worked out everyday, don’t change your schedule even for your significant other. If you write for a living, don’t convince yourself that you can’t write anything when you’re in a relationship. You go home and you find something to write about.  Remember your personal goals are what make you who you are. Your personal relationships help you share the rewards of succeeding in those goals.

 3. Miss Them As Much As You See Them

This is an extension of number two. Co-dependency is a relationship killer. If you have free time, you shouldn’t automatically assume it should be spent with your partner. I’m not saying you can’t see each other three days in a row, but make sure you don’t let your friendships fall through the cracks. Your partner is a part of your life, not your whole life.

 4. Put Your Phone Away!

This generation is controlled by our smartphones, androids and iPhones to the point it has affected our relationships.  Remember that people were able to go on dates before without Facebook, Twitter, text messages, emails and cell phones even. When you spend time with your significant others, put your phone away.  Unless it’s an important phone call, there’s no reason to interrupt your boyfriend or girlfriend’s conversation because you were tagged in someone’s meme on Facebook. Keep outside distractions to a minimum.

 5. Make A Day To Lounge Together

A lot of blogs and magazines would say that once you become comfortable and lazy in front of your partner, that your relationship is destined for failure.  Now although I agree that being too comfortable in a relationship is a bad thing, I think it’s an even worse thing if you deny lounging together as well.  We’re not drones. It’s impossible to look like our best selves everyday for our partner and that’s why you should pick one day a week, where you bust out those sweats, curl up on the couch, watch some movies, eat some take-out and fool around all day. Just like diets, you should be allowed one cheat day to completely be your real selves–no matter how sloppy and lazy you can be.

Thoughts? Let us know in the comment section below!