What Makes You Good In Bed?
I’ve only ever been with my husband, and we have been divorced for two years now. I’ve met a lot of nice men through online dating, but I’m worried my inexperience in the bedroom will hinder how my performance stacks up in the bedroom. Should I be worried?
Jackie,
Minnesota
Believe it or not, the most common concern from newly divorced men and women is about how they will do in the bedroom with a new partner. When you’re married, it’s easy to fall into a routine with your sexual patterns, making you less adventurous and less confident in your performance.
The most important thing to take with you in the bedroom is enthusiasm. If you go in with negative thoughts about how the act is going to play out, you’re going to leave disappointed. Being confident in bed can make the difference between a bland time and a great time. If you keep telling yourself that you’re doing great, your mind will send your body those signals, which will actually help you perform better.
You’re not always going to find your perfect match in the bedroom, especially if it’s your first time sleeping with a partner, but never be judgmental of what they want to try. If there’s something they ask you to do that you’re uncomfortable with, suggest you do something else instead of denying his request. By asking to perform an act instead of turning one down, you’re keeping positive energy in the room, which will make for a better love making environment.
Most importantly, you need to be comfortable before you start, or you’re going to end up uncomfortable throughout the whole thing. Treating yourself to a new piece of lingerie won’t just make you feel better about stripping down, but it will arouse your date and visibly show him the excitement you’ve had that led up to the big moment. When males see that a woman has prepared for the night, their confidence rises, which will bring him to your steady and calm level.
Sex really is like riding a bike- you never forget how. Think about the best night you’ve had with someone in bed and try to emulate that setting. Take into account how you felt, what you did, and what the surroundings were like. If you were happy, get in that mind set before your date. If you were horny, watch a video before your date to get your engine running. If you go in thinking you’re going to do well Jackie, then you’re going to do well!
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