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What To Do When They’re Not Who They Say They Are

Letting you believe a picture of someone else is actually him will start things off on the wrong foot.

I’ve been talking to the same guy online for about 5 months, and he’s just told me that the profile picture he has isn’t actually of him. With a deception like that, should I bother trusting him about anything else?

We often stress the importance of choosing profile pictures here at Online Personals FAQ because it’s the first impression someone is going to get of you. They can see if your smile is genuine, If you have a unique style or if you’re a more traditional dresser, and depending on what you’re doing in the picture, what you do with your free time. We often suggest not to use shots that can’t clearly see your face, and we always suggest to never leave the picture blank.

The reason we put so much stress on the importance of profile pictures is because people base a lot of your communication on that picture. Your match would imagine what you’d look like saying certain things, what your mannerisms would be like, and even the pitch of your voice based on your frame. When you see someone, you have slight expectations of what they would be like based solely on their looks and while looks aren’t the most important thing, they are important.

If someone misleads you into thinking the picture they use is them when, in fact, it’s not, it’s not only deceiving, but it can change the impression you have of them entirely. All those hopeful assumptions you made based on their picture are now moot, and you’re now back to square one.

Not only do you have to reevaluate what you think they may be like offline, you also have a trust issue building. Since the relationship started off dishonestly, it’s now built on an unsteady foundation. Sure with a lot of work it may be able to be repaired, but who wants to have to put that much effort into a relationship that is still in its initial stages?

The truth is if someone is honest about one thing online, chances are they’re also dishonest about other things as well. If you do decide to continue this relationship, treat it like it’s the first time you’re speaking to them. You need to re-build the relationship by starting fresh. Before you decide to go on a date offline with them, make sure you know who you’re really going out with!

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  1. August 24, 2011, 12:00 pm

    [...] people can start having strong feelings after only a few times speaking to someone they met through online personals, some need to meet the person in real life before they can claim it’s love, and some people [...]


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